Well so it’s Monday, with lots to look forward to on the NarcosInLove&WarSuperHappyFunSeries #ElSenorDeLosCielos3!
There is so much to talk about, I’m not sure where to start, so I’ll start with the revolutionary approach to Cardiology El Don Feo takes at his ranch.
I’m not the only person writing about this: It will also be covered in the Journal of American Medicine and Lancet, and that’s just the beginning.
So here’s what happened:
Don El Feyo was hosting the big 2015 Narcotrafficante Convention and Conference at his ranch, and his co-hostess was his wife La Condesa, who is half-woman, half-mermaid, and 100% siren.
Every Narco in the tri-state area was attending, and they were all looking forward to a Happy Hour and dinner at a good steakhouse after a hard day of meetings about styles of packaging, and a seminar about the refusal of North Americans to learn the Metric system.
Everyone was very surprised to see El Señor was still alive, which tells me they must have missed the second season of this show, and will now have to binge-watch it.
Of course, El Señor and Don El Chema were annoyed to see each other there, but they were both kind of happy to get a break from La Rutila, who was very busy visiting El Rivero, the Minister of Defense, in his hospital room, in her version of a Narca Candy-Striper uniform.
Meanwhile, La Monikita shows up uninvited to the Narco convention. There is no name-tag for her at the Registration Desk in Don El Feyo’s kitchen, but that’s ok because there is no room on her postage stamp-size red dress she is wearing for a name-tag.
When the convention breaks up into small groups, El Señor drags La Monikita into the pantry where they have a big fight because she has shown up without pre-registering, and he doesn’t want to have to share a room with her because he was planning on hooking up with La Condesa.
They spend so much time arguing that they miss the 15-minute break, and now there is a long line for the bathroom.
During the break every narco is planning how they can sneak out early and kill another narco, and El Señor strolls out to the garden to get some fresh air and decide who he wants to kill next.
Everyone is surprised when El Señor has a heart attack then and there, mainly because it never occurred to anyone that a NarcoTrafficante would have the luxury of a natural death.
There is no call to 911.
There is no panicky drive into town to an Emergency Room.
There is no frantic search for the Blue Cross/Blue Shield card.
What there is is a glass of water, and an escort back to his room to lay down, and everyone gets out of class early.
Back in his room, El Señor gives his nephew Victor Jr some orders, one of which includes a reminder to take off his gigantic hat inside the ranch.
El Señor lays down and drinks some water.
Then El Señor tries to get La Condesa into his bed.
In her husband’s house.
With all of his friends over.
No blood tests.
Not even an aspirin.
El Señor seems to have recovered, or at least recovered enough to try to hook up with La Condesa.
If the people who write the Obamacare protocols get a look at this radical and inexpensive treatment for heart attacks, which basically involves tap water and flirting,
we are all in big trouble.
And no one is going to go to medical school anymore.
More to come later!!
0 comments on “La Gringa Novelera: El Senor De Los Cielos Recap [June 22, 2015]”